Feminism is often seen as a dirty word in society today--especially inside the Church. Inside the Church, feminists or even just women who don't have a desire to get married and become stay-at-home moms immediately are often looked down on as someone who obviously doesn't know the plan of salvation--even though we all know it should be a question answered by the woman, her husband (if she has one), and the Lord. Even in Provo, a city full of people dedicated to the pursuit of high education, I've gotten my share of comments from people who don't understand why I'm choosing to pursue a master's degree right now and why I'm not having children right away since I'm only 2 months away from my B.A.
Even I had been asking myself these questions. Since this is the first semester I've been married and in school, this is the first time I've had the ability to completely control how clean my apartment is and be able to make the food I want when I want it (don't worry, I do let my husband make some decisions when it comes to food). Unfortunately, because of school I haven't been able to do those things the way I'd like. I don't have the time to do a lot of the things I'd like to do. Because of this, I've found myself asking why I care so much about getting an M.L.S. now and Ph.D. sometime in the future. My husband and I could just as easily use the money we have saved up for my tuition to make up for my not working so I could be a full-time homemaker and begin having children.
This book reminded me why that's not the path I've chosen, and why we as women need to resist being told we need to fit in that role to be the perfect woman. I have friends who have chosen that role (and there's nothing wrong with choosing it), but it should be something that is an individual choice and not something that anyone feels compelled into. Before reading this book I knew it kind of started the Women's Movement in the 60s and 70s and assumed that it was a man-hating, anti-children, pro-career manifesto. After reading this book, I can say that it is not at all that way! I wish there was a condensed version for women (and men) who aren't interested in all the theoretical stuff (aka... lots of Freud) but still included all the information about the "problem with no name" as Friedan names the depression that many housewives faced at the time (and continue to face now). Although some of it is a bit extreme, I found it refreshingly honest.
And this book isn't saying that being a homemaker is bad--being a housewife is, but being a homemaker isn't. Friedan argues that every woman needs to have a creative outlet not tied to the home. Whether that be a part-time or full-time job, innovative community service, or continual education every woman should have something meaningful to engage her mind throughout her life. That is what feminism is all about. It's not about saying that one image of womanhood should be privileged over another or that every woman needs to do it all. It's saying that every woman deserves to be seen as a whole woman with interests outside of being a mother or hoping to be a mother.
Society however, cannot see things in those moderate terms. In my English class we were talking about a recent study on CNN stating that homemakers are now happier than women who work. I believe it's because women who work feel the need to do it all, keep a perfect house, make a gourmet meal every night, be involved in their children's lives, and be involved in the community. These are all worthy things to be doing, but it leads to someone who is completely burned out. As women and as a society, we need to demand the rights to be allowed to be imperfect people, but individual humans with interests in many different things first and foremost.
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